Snark is Relationship Cancer (part 2)
On my birthday, she bought me brunch and came back to my place and we were kissing and lightly “petting.” Now, when I get intimate, I get very serious, passionate, focused — I am totally in my body and not my head (where I am usually) — I go from being Ben Stiller-y to Bill Hurt in Body Heat in seconds.
And she kept making these comments that felt like she was punching my boner in the face (I would lose it).
Trying to engage her (she didn’t seem to be into making out in general), I said: “Do I still look good above you?” (She told me that the week before — a very rare sexual, loving thing she said — maybe the only thing in 5 dates)
Many ways to answer this — “Uh-huh” “Better” “Of course” “Always” “Sure” “Yep”
Hers: “Duh, I told you that last week!” — Bam! There goes my boner again….out cold on the canvas….ten, nine, eight…
After my therapy on Monday (where I talked about my concerns about her and my therapist wasn’t feeling her / us as couple at all), I get a text from her saying she is going to go out of town, but would like to see me before she goes.
I text back — That was a really nice text to get – I’m busy Tues, but the rest are free.
She texts back: Why do you always seem so surprised when I say or do something nice? I certainly have my flaws but I am a very nice person.
Ugh. This is exhausting. And it’s only date 5. I’m really close to throwing in the towel….
…and….that night it ended.
She called later and I told her I sent a text that says we shouldn’t communicate via text anymore (which she didn’t receive actually) and then we were chatting — it’s a little awkward but okay and was telling a story and then imitated some guy in the story with a funny voice and she interrupts and says (sarcastically): “That voice really turns me on.”
And snapped at her.
“I’m sorry that voice doesn’t turn you on — that’s how I talk, how I express myself sometimes. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to go out with me anymore.”
BAM! CUT AND RUN DAVE does it again! Well, to be fair, I was trying hard (probably too hard) to make this thing work with this girl — she liked me and was nice in many ways (picked up a check, bought me a B-Day lunch), but we were out of sync on two main core issues — communication and physically (that will be a future blog post)
Postscript: I got a text from her about a day or two later (ANOTHER TEXT — Jesus! I’d rather get an e-mail from her on Match.com) that said: I re-read your text and I realized that I did read something into it that wasn’t there. I’m sorry. If you still want to spend time together let me know. If not, I understand and wish you the best.