Sabotage!!!
I was speaking to a woman I dated very briefly years ago and with whom I am now good friends. To my relief she said, “I don’t think you’ve had any ‘That one got away’ girls” — the girl who was perfect for me but I was too stupid, too young, too immature (different from being ‘too young’, although there is some overlap) and just blew it.
The closest I had was Mia, the 25 year old Italian girlfriend I had when I was 35.
But I didn’t blow it with Mia in any big or obvious way (if I did at all) — I met her about 2 – 3 months before she had to go back to Italy (and took her to Hawaii during that time), invited her back months later to Philly and NYC for my brother’s wedding (where she saw her first Broadway show) where she stayed for about 3 weeks and then came back for 2 weeks a few months later…and then, basically, never came back…. she just didn’t want to be far from her parents and her studies and her new career….
Aside from that, there hasn’t been anything that was going really well and that person was perfect and I just suddenly burned the house down, well, just because.
If anything, I try and make things work even when the ship is going down (Snark is Relationship Cancer girl, the woman I moved out to LA for, Ellen The Event Planner).
I just keep thinking about the Snarky Redhead and wondering — WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
Everything was going great — we had 5 dates, decided to stop dating others, had Body Heat chemistry, was well matched when it came to interests and intellect and then she just pulled a grenade on the whole thing (got mouthy, got mean, refused to sleep in my bed one night, admitted to sabotaging when confronted)…
And it seems there’s been a lot of sabotaging going on with L.A. Match girls — girls who play obvious ‘Ooops-I-missed-your-phone-call’ games (return phone calls at 9:20 am on a workday, call at lunch), refuse to give phone numbers just when the e-mails are getting good, give me their numbers and then never call me back (or worse, weeks later, then send me an e-mail encouraging me to call again and I do and then don’t CALL BACK AGAIN!!!!!! OMG!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!)….
Sure, there’s the cost (downside) of dating — leads gone cold, people who vanish (shit, I vanish on women online after a couple of unimpressive e-mails or when I’ve found someone to date / focus on), but the people who take it the extra step into Dating Kabuki is what really gets my goat….