E-Harmony (pt.2) – The Serial Killer Girl
Finally, an interesting candidate popped up in my “daily matches” – unusually attractive (especially for e-harmony) – Andrea looked like Kate Beckinsale. She was definitely different – her main photo was a (really sexy) picture of her SNARLING and she was sharp and funny (“Is there anyone on here not into their dogs and Jesus?” she wrote). She seemed way more LA or NY than El Paso, where she lived.
Almost immediately we had bypassed the Q & A and were trading witty e-mails and sharing our favorite weird e-harmony profile quotes.
A phone call followed and when I asked why El Paso and she hesistantly revealed that she had returned there (her hometown) after SHE HAD BEEN ABDUCTED BY A SERIAL KILLER.
From what I could put together from that conversation and others that followed, her car had broken down in the middle of the night during a cross country trip, this guy had pulled up in his truck (or trailer), hog tied her, threatened her with a gun and that she had at some point, jumped out of his moving vehicle. She was able to testify against him and put him in jail for a long time and that he had been a suspect in the disappearence of two other girls.
I know what you’re thinking – RUN!!!!! But she was quirky, hot and, goddamn, had a good story.
We ended up talking on the phone about 3 hours a week (usually two 1.5 hour phone calls) and I mailed her a T-shirt I had designed. She encouraged me to visit.
Coincidentally, I had a campaign for my business coming up in El Paso. It didn’t require me to go, but I thought I could do some work on it and have my company pay for the trip.
So in October of 2009, I booked a flight.
After a day of driving around this dump of a desert town on the border of Mexico with a temp I had hired, Andrea came to my hotel.
She was as striking as her pictures, just as tall as I was, thin with shockingly blue eyes and brown hair. We hit it off almost instantly.
At dinner, I had my first Mojito (I must admit, El Paso had good Mojitos) and ended up getting a bit tipsy.
Andrea drove me back to my hotel and I remember us laughing as we tumbled into my room.
Once inside the room, we got on the bed and kissed and at one point, she actually pinned me down as if to confirm she could take me if something went wrong with this stranger from L.A. But there was something holding her back – I mean, even though we kissed, it was more like me kissing her than a mutual thing.
At some point, to relax her, I said, “You know things will go a lot easier if you just trust me.”
But my words had the opposite effect – her whole face blanched.
“What? What is it?”
“That’s exactly what the serial killer said the night he picked me up.”
Okay, what are the odds you meet someone online who’s been kidnapped by a serial killer and YOU END UP QUOTING THEM??????
Finally, I was able to get her off the ceiling and we just kissed and held each other in the dark like two animals in a cold burrow.