Dr. Phil
A few weeks back, I was contacted by the Dr. Phil show — they must have really wanted me — they called and e-mailed within minutes of each attempt. (I had written them in the Spring thinking it would be interesting to have footage of me on the show for my one man show regarding dating).
When they had initially e-mailed me back in the Spring, I had written them back and said I wasn’t so much interested in being a guest per se, but rather as a comic / panelist when they have these “Men Vs. Women” men’s panels occasionally. I wrote saying I know they tend to have celebrities like Jon Lovitz on these panels, but also not famous comics like Kirk Fox. Maybe if someone got sick, maybe I could fill in and listed my credits.
Didn’t hear back.
Then in mid December, they called and e-mailed me for a show called “Dating Disasters.” I wasn’t on board and this little casting P.A. was pissed. “But you e-mailed US” “Usually people are excited when the Dr. Phil show calls.” I reiterated my interest in being a panelist rather than a guest and she screeched, “Wait a minute — you’ve had 250 dates and you want to be on the show AS AN EXPERT!?”
She had a point, but I did say, “If someone threw 250 baseballs at you, you might get good at hitting them. I’m good at first dates.”
When she continued to badger me, I said, “Look, I LIVE here. I used to be in the ‘Business’ – I get it – I know how things work.” It got a little contentious. “Well, I won’t take any more of your time,” she said.
***
Well, the show aired on Wed — it was called “Why Am I Still Single?”
The guy they chose needed the help (and maybe publicity) way, way, way more than me. He was a true sad sack with NO balls or personality (or hair, sadly), 39 years old, NEVER had a girlfriend (and wasn’t bad looking in his 20′s — they showed a quick photo), did stupid “stunts” like I did (stood out on the street in a costume with a sign begging for a wife — a little different, but still). Think he only had sex once (from a woman who admitedly felt sorry for him).
The guy had NO spine, nooooo confidence — he really needed a lot more work than the show could offer (weight loss, therapy, trainer, stylist — guy totally needs to wear some kind of english cap or something). It wasn’t so much a man as he was a wounded and beaten puppy in a man costume. He all but shook in other people’s presences. Granted, he could have been nervous being on TV, but it was much more than that.
He went on two dates which they filmed for the show — one with the sassy, kooky, former heavy lady who had been on the show before (and left at the altar maybe 20 minutes before her wedding) and a very attractive blond. The Blond said very nice things about their date, but you could tell she would never FUCK HIM and seemed to be hoping he or the show wouldn’t ask her for a second date.
He also revealed that his mother abandoned him as a child and basically never came back (and is still MIA) — he had “I AM UNLOVABLE” all over him. I could smell it from my TV screen.
January 16th, 2012 at 3:59 am
That guy you described is totally depressing. It’s sad how Dr. Phil exploited him.
Also, they should have taken you as a dating expert. I am sure you would have been great. Their loss.
January 16th, 2012 at 11:27 am
I think it might have helped the poor guy. Baby steps. He really had no tools, no direction. An Dr. Phil really encouraged him to get therapy which he seemed open to (I talked to someone else who saw the show and she asked me if I caught that the hint/wink/nudge that he’d been molested as a kid, which I didn’t but that makes a lot of sense)….