Dating Definition: Trauma Bond
Trauma Bond (noun).
You know when you see a guy who’s like a 5 or 6 or 7 and he’s with a 8 or 9 or 10 and you wonder ‘What the hell happened here?’
She might have wanted a baby RIGHT NOW and he seemed like a good provider and would be a good dad and she was tired of dating and she gave up a bunch of superficial stuff (“He has to be as hot as me”) for it.
He was in the right place at the right time, meaning she was tired of dating hot guys / bad boys (AND also maybe wanted a baby) and decided to give a “Maybe Guy” a try, BUT what happened was a trauma in her life — her mom got sick / died; she had an illness herself or broke her leg; she lost her job; her dog was hit by a bus and that guy — who she had basically forced herself to go on dates with — had an opportunity to slip into HERO MODE and won her over in the process (brought over chicken soup, held her at her mom’s wake).
They also tend to get engaged and married pretty quickly (see the blog I wrote about The Ann-Margaret look-a-like — perfect example of this phenomena)
There was a Seinfeld about this — “I’ll be there for her and then, I’ll just be there.” (the Debra Messing character was going through a divorce)