Dating Definition: Trauma Bond
Trauma Bond (noun).
You know when you see a guy who’s like a 5 or 6 or 7 and he’s with a 8 or 9 or 10 and you wonder ‘What the hell happened here?’
She might have wanted a baby RIGHT NOW and he seemed like a good provider and would be a good dad and she was tired of dating and she gave up a bunch of superficial stuff (“He has to be as hot as me”) for it.
Or….
He was in the right place at the right time, meaning she was tired of dating hot guys / bad boys (AND also maybe wanted a baby) and decided to give a “Maybe Guy” a try, BUT what happened was a trauma in her life — her mom got sick / died; she had an illness herself or broke her leg; she lost her job; her dog was hit by a bus and that guy — who she had basically forced herself to go on dates with — had an opportunity to slip into HERO MODE and won her over in the process (brought over chicken soup, held her at her mom’s wake).
They also tend to get engaged and married pretty quickly (see the blog I wrote about The Ann-Margaret look-a-like — perfect example of this phenomena)
There was a Seinfeld about this — “I’ll be there for her and then, I’ll just be there.” (the Debra Messing character was going through a divorce)
June 18th, 2012 at 7:37 pm
hmm good timing/ trauma could be possible reasons why the woman gave a man who’s 5 or 6 a chance, but it’s not a guarantee of marriage / long term relationships in all cases. at the end of the day what women want from their partner is dependable pillar of support & shud the 5 guy prove that he is one….why not accept him?
June 18th, 2012 at 9:57 pm
Thanks for commenting — I almost stopped writing the blog, thinking no one was reading. No, you are right, it’s not guarantee of long term success (see how the Ann Margret marriage worked out)….perhaps when the ‘hero mode’ wears off, she might see him in more realistic lights…
April 19th, 2013 at 3:33 pm
I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up!
I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. All the best
May 1st, 2013 at 12:24 pm
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