(I had asked this woman in the first 3 minutes of the phone conversation to stop putting her dishes away, which was drowning out our talk and then later I sincerely APOLOGIZED before we got off the phone for “scolding her about the dishes” and then she THANKED ME for telling her to stop because it “helped her stop spinning after a bad day.”) It was not a “belligerent tantrum” or an “outburst” — it was a bit snappy, admittedly.

then a few days later (this AM, I get this) — we had talked since this too (and she accepted a 2nd date from me a couple days later):

Dear David,

I wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to see you on Friday so that you can make other plans for your evening. I’ve been thinking about how your outburst during our first conversation on Monday made me feel and I realized I’m not looking forward to meeting you, in fact, I feel rather apprehensive about it. I shouldn’t have called you that night- I’d had too frantic a day and still hadn’t unpacked my groceries or made dinner for myself, and I was very hungry, but I wanted to give you the courtesy of returning your call in a timely manner, so I called you. I just wanted to have a brief conversation, but you had other plans, and you expected me to adhere to your rules and ideas about how the conversation should be, without regard to what my needs or feelings might have been at that moment. You threw a belligerent tantrum because you weren’t getti ng 100% of my attention and it rattled me so that I forgot myself. Later, I felt bad about myself for giving in to your pushiness, and for so swiftly putting my own needs aside- and for what? I don’t even know if I want to be your friend let alone lover or partner. I’ve spent YEARS of my life giving myself completely over to the needs of men who had NO reciprocal consideration toward me, and I’m VERY weary of it. Perhaps this was an isolated incident and you never would act this way again, but in my experience, men TELL you who they are right away by their behavior and the only fools are the women who don’t listen or who make excuses and pretend that men don’t mean what they are saying. So I’m sorry if you’re disappointed but I’d rather end our connection. I hope you understand.

I wish you the best of luck in your search on Match.

Alison

This entry was posted on Friday, July 1st, 2011 at 1:26 pm and is filed under Date, Dating, multi-tasking, phone call. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.