This is part two to this. (I don’t think anyone cared about part 1, but it gets better in this part).

http://datingdaredevil.com/uncategorized/vertigo-pt-1

Okay, once at The Disney Hall, we are shown to our seats, which are in the first row of the balcony. A balcony with a very, very short wall. As soon as the show started, it felt like I was suspended in mid-air. I got dizzy.

“Do you have vertigo?”

“Yeah, apparently. I didn’t know it until this minute,” I said.

Other than that, she didn’t really seem to care I was getting ill. So for the next 45 minutes, I sat with my head craned away from the action below, my jaw clenched tight and my hands gripping the arms of my seat. I was totally blowing my cool, but we were just buddies, so no big deal.

At the intermission, she says she wants to stay in her seat. I was in a small panic and said (getting up), “I’m going to sit in the lobby. For the rest of the show. I don’t feel well.”

So for the next 45 – 50 minutes, I sat in the lobby.

She came out, found me standing right there in the lobby and I drove her home. It wasn’t that big of a deal. She didn’t seem upset in the car ride back and seemed to have rolled with my vertigo / illness.

BUT what I didn’t realize at the time is that girl was a PRICKLY.

Because when I ran into her at a mutual friend’s events, she acted like, well, I had assaulted her. So got real weird and wouldn’t even say ‘hi’ to me and would literally avoid me. This went on for months.

I later realized that she was AGHAST! That I left her alone for 45 minutes at an event we went to as buddies! AGHAST! How dare I get sick! How dare I be human! Girls like this act like you’ve ruined their night if things don’t go the way THEY IMAGINED IT. (BTW, Prickly Girls always want KIDS RIGHT NOW and I can’t really see it — they way they act and expect others to act, is, well, the complete opposite is what happens with kids.)

Anyway, I know this because two buddies of mine filmed a show she was producing and at some point, she was saying to them she couldn’t find a date / boyfriend and then they said “We got the perfect guy — Jewish, East Coast, owns his own business, funny” “Who?” And then they mentioned my name and she went…

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And then proceeded to tell her victim “version” of what happened — I got weird (not sick) and ran out midway through the performance and didn’t tell her where I was going and she didn’t know how she was going to get home” (Whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttt?)

My buddies actually questioned her version of it, saying “That doesn’t sound like Dave…”

Anyway, I heard she is preparing to have IVF and a baby by herself (which another Prickly I know did).

I was speaking to a woman I dated very briefly years ago and with whom I am now good friends. To my relief she said, “I don’t think you’ve had any ‘That one got away’ girls” —  the girl who was perfect for me but I was too stupid, too young, too immature (different from being ‘too young’, although there is some overlap) and just blew it.

The closest I had was Mia, the 25 year old Italian girlfriend I had when I was 35.

But I didn’t blow it with Mia in any big or obvious way (if I did at all) — I met her about 2 – 3 months before she had to go back to Italy (and took her to Hawaii during that time), invited her back months later to Philly and NYC for my brother’s wedding (where she saw her first Broadway show) where she stayed for about 3 weeks and then came back for 2 weeks a few months later…and then, basically, never came back…. she just didn’t want to be far from her parents and her studies and her new career….

Aside from that, there hasn’t been anything that was going really well and that person was perfect and I just suddenly burned the house down, well, just because.

If anything, I try and make things work even when the ship is going down (Snark is Relationship Cancer girl, the woman I moved out to LA for, Ellen The Event Planner).

I just keep thinking about the Snarky Redhead and wondering — WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

Everything was going great — we had 5 dates, decided to stop dating others, had Body Heat chemistry, was well matched when it came to interests and intellect and then she just pulled a grenade on the whole thing (got mouthy, got mean, refused to sleep in my bed one night, admitted to sabotaging when confronted)…

And it seems there’s been a lot of sabotaging going on with L.A. Match girls — girls who play obvious ‘Ooops-I-missed-your-phone-call’ games (return phone calls at 9:20 am on a workday, call at lunch), refuse to give phone numbers just when the e-mails are getting good, give me their numbers and then never call me back (or worse, weeks later, then send me an e-mail encouraging me to call again and I do and then don’t CALL BACK AGAIN!!!!!! OMG!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!)….

Sure, there’s the cost (downside) of dating — leads gone cold, people who vanish (shit, I vanish on women online after a couple of unimpressive e-mails or when I’ve found someone to date / focus on), but the people who take it the extra step into Dating Kabuki is what really gets my goat….

In June of 2011, I had a date with a 29 year old petite, cute nerdy girl around the corner from her house. She was FUNNY — now, I don’t say that lightly. As a former stand up (and occasional depressed person), it’s a huge feat to make me laugh. And this girl did it often. We had a 1 hour and 45 minute coffee date that just flew by.

We went out a few days later and saw a comedy show also around the corner from her house and then kissed her car. Unfort., the mood was ruined by two assholes who kept driving past us with their brights on again and again.

I called for a third date….and nothing.

I was a bit surprised, but she seemed a little guarded, a little snarky, probably not ready for any kind of intimacy.

But she was funny. And I needed new friends.

So about a month or two later — I don’t remember, I wrote her a postcard (I was in her neighborhood and remembered the building where I dropped her off and jotted down the address one day) and said, “I know you don’t want a third date but you are the funniest person I’ve ever gone out with and seem to have a lot of quirky stuff in common, so if you ever want to see a movie to go to a weird art or comedy show, let me know. YOUR MAILMAN READ THIS” I wrote in big letters at the bottom.

That was probably late summer of 2011.

Then the other day I saw her on Match.com. I clicked on her profile and read it and then a day later I got this:

On my birthday, she bought me brunch and came back to my place and we were kissing and lightly “petting.” Now, when I get intimate, I get very serious, passionate, focused — I am totally in my body and not my head (where I am usually) — I go from being Ben Stiller-y to Bill Hurt in Body Heat in seconds.

And she kept making these comments that felt like she was punching my boner in the face (I would lose it).

Trying to engage her (she didn’t seem to be into making out in general), I said: “Do I still look good above you?” (She told me that the week before — a very rare sexual, loving thing she said — maybe the only thing in 5 dates)

Many ways to answer this — “Uh-huh” “Better” “Of course” “Always” “Sure” “Yep”

Hers: “Duh, I told you that last week!” — Bam! There goes my boner again….out cold on the canvas….ten, nine, eight…

After my therapy on Monday (where I talked about my concerns about her and my therapist wasn’t feeling her / us as couple at all), I get a text from her saying she is going to go out of town, but would like to see me before she goes.

I text back — That was a really nice text to get – I’m busy Tues, but the rest are free.

She texts back: Why do you always seem so surprised when I say or do something nice? I certainly have my flaws but I am a very nice person.

Ugh. This is exhausting. And it’s only date 5. I’m really close to throwing in the towel….

…and….that night it ended.

She called later and I told her I sent a text that says we shouldn’t communicate via text anymore (which she didn’t receive actually) and then we were chatting — it’s a little awkward but okay and was telling a story and then imitated some guy in the story with a funny voice and she interrupts and says (sarcastically): “That voice really turns me on.”

I snapped.

And snapped at her.

“I’m sorry that voice doesn’t turn you on — that’s how I talk, how I express myself sometimes. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to go out with me anymore.”

BAM! CUT AND RUN DAVE does it again! Well, to be fair, I was trying hard (probably too hard) to make this thing work with this girl — she liked me and was nice in many ways (picked up a check, bought me a B-Day lunch), but we were out of sync on two main core issues — communication and physically (that will be a future blog post)

Postscript: I got a text from her about a day or two later (ANOTHER TEXT — Jesus! I’d rather get an e-mail from her on Match.com) that said: I re-read your text and I realized that I did read something into it that wasn’t there. I’m sorry. If you still want to spend time together let me know. If not, I understand and wish you the best.